The Problem
Picture This:
I’ve been on a weight loss journey for what seems like forever. I don’t know why I can’t seem to lose weight when everyone around me does it so seamlessly. I’ve only successfully been able to drop weight once in my life. I was following a weight loss diet that required me to consume nothing but a detox tea in the morning, juiced fruit in the afternoon and a fruit salad in the evening. I dropped 10 pounds in the first week! I was so excited, but I began to feel terrible. I wanted to eat other things; I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to survive on a fruit diet. I figured I would use this diet to lose some weight and then I would just maintain that weight afterwards. However, every time I would stop and go back to eating normally, I would regain the weight, sometimes even more. I got so frustrated with the ups and downs of that diet. A friend of mine has been vlogging her weight loss journey. She is following the keto diet and it seems to be working for her. Perhaps I should give that one a go…
How familiar does this scenario sound? Have you ever found yourself in this predicament? The endless cycle of agony?
Why Do People Diet?
The diet industry is a BILLION-dollar industry. We, as humans, can be very insecure beings. We watch TV, scroll through social media, or simply look around and we begin to compare ourselves to others. The celebrity that can afford a personal trainer, surgery, a dietician, a personal chef, and a team of support to lessen their daily stress. The instagram model with all the filters, makeup, and proper lighting. The neighbor with predisposed genetics. Unfortunately, when we look at people, we do not see all of that. The only thing we see is a body that we want and don’t understand why we can’t get. This is what diet culture feeds on: your insecurities. Once the insecurities are identified, the industry can then begin to play on your emotions to sell you a product. Don’t like your belly fat? Here’s a fix! Tired of being lethargic due to a poor diet (even though it’s probably because you work 2 jobs, take care of 3 kids as a single parent and has very little to do with the food you’re eating)? Take my product! Want to lose 20 pounds in 30 days? Buy my program! You have false beliefs, insecurities, and heightened emotions. You are the perfect audience to sell to. All one must do is market it properly. Dress it as a “lifestyle change”, toss in some transformation pictures (that likely had nothing to do with what they were selling, and the pictures displayed are most likely pictures from a 6-12 month transformation than a 30 day one OR the pictures are so old that those people don’t even look like that anymore because they “fell off the program”) and boom! We have a lead. I know. I’ve been there. Not as the consumer, but the seller. Can you believe that? I am happy to have broken away from the system that never seemed right to me in the first place. It’s also probably why I had very little success with that approach because I never believed in it and couldn’t sell it in the way that everyone else did. Because it was a lie. Don’t get me wrong, many of those people have GREAT intentions and truly believe this is the best thing for you. I don’t think they realize what is flawed with the system, but this is all a story for another blog ☺️. This is why [most] people diet. It starts with an unhappiness with self. It expands to a deeper unhappiness when we see so many people looking the way that we wish we did. We don’t have the tools, patience, nor education to really help ourselves and then we fall into the trap of some program that promises big rewards with very little follow through.
I’m not saying that dieting is a terrible thing. In fact, in the right circumstances, changing your diet can be the best thing for you. To be clear, detox teas, meal replacement protein shakes, and fruit detoxes are not diets. At least in my eyes. I see “diet” as a way of eating. By definition, a diet is the kind of food that a person, animal or community habitually eat. So when I ask you, “what is your diet like?”, I just mean, “What do you eat on a day-to-day basis? What don’t you eat?”. Changing our diets can vastly improve our health or drastically hurt it. On the other hand, society abides by this definition:
"Diet culture is the pervasive belief that appearance and body shape are more important than physical, psychological, and general well-being. It's the idea that controlling your body, particularly your diet—by limiting what and how much you eat—is normal"
How Do Diets Actually Work?
Have you ever heard of ‘Calories In vs Calories Out' ? It is a tool majority of fitness trainers use when trying to either lose or gain weight. The Calories In consist of the foods you eat, while the Calories Out consist of the energy you release. The energy you release is broken down into 4 categories:
· Basal Metabolic Rate: The calories your body burns every day to keep your body functioning. This is based on your height, size, gender, and amount of muscle. This is different for everyone.
· N.E.A.T: Non-exercise activity thermogenesis; This consists of things like brushing your teeth, typing on the computer, twiddling your thumbs. Natural movement through the day that isn’t intentional exercise. Again, this is unique for everyone because it depends on how much you move around and how much mass you have.
· Exercise: This is the exercise you do; Biking, running, swimming, weightlifting, etc. How long are you working out? To what intensity? What size are you? All of this will vary how many calories you burn. Two people of different sizes will not burn the same number of calories doing the same exercise.
· Thermic Effect of Food: The energy your body uses to break down what you eat. Certain foods take more energy to break down, so this varies as well.
Based on the information given above, to experience weight loss, you have two options:
A. Decrease the amount of calories you consume
B. Increase the amount of calories you put out
It is much easier to skip out on the 200 calorie donut than it is to spend 1 hour on the treadmill to burn off 200 calories. This is the reason most people choose to diet and I can agree. It is the easier method. We can only exercise so much, but we can be intentional about what we eat. Simple enough right? If you consistently eat less than you burn, you'll lose weight? Right? Right?? In theory, yes. But it's not that simple...
Why Do Diets Fail?
There are reasons why even on a diet, people still tend to fail and are unsuccessful reaching their goals. One that isn’t just some juice cleanse or meal replacement protein shake and consists of eating whole meals. How can this be? I’m glad you asked. Over 1000 words later, I can finally get into what this blog is about 🤓 First, people tend to neglect things like hormones, genetics, stress, and health problems that greatly affect what we look like. I will save this for a future blog. Apart from that, we have two major reasons diets tend not to work: Psychology and Physiology.
I. Psychology: Picture this scenario: You’ve been feeling terrible in your body for weeks. Maybe even months. Finally, you go to the doctor. The doctor runs a series of test and comes back to inform you that everything came back negative and your levels are pretty normal. You then continue to press the issue and ask, “Well why do I feel this way?”. The doctor then tells you that changing your diet and increasing you exercise will fix it. I mean, really imagine this. The ONLY thing you have to do to diminish your discomfort is to get healthier by eating better and moving more. I mean, this is perfect right? No pills. No bills. No surgeries. Whew! What a relief… right? Wrong. Majority of the people that hear this are disappointed. They would rather spend money on treatments than to do something as simple (but not easy) as changing themselves. It is so much harder to change your habits. Now, this is a topic for another day because there are actually times when someone IS having a health crisis but because they are overweight, the doctors assume it’s a weight issue and doesn’t take them seriously, neglecting care. I am not speaking on these situations. I am speaking on when you truly only need to change yourself, but you can’t. I used to judge health care because it seemed that they would rather prescribe medication than tackle the root problems, which are typically eating and lifestyle habits.
Again, this COULD still be the case sometimes, but spending time with people, I have learned that… people really don’t want to change. And they truly would rather just have the pills than to change their behavior. It all starts with your MINDSET. You must shift your limiting beliefs and begin telling yourself you CAN do these things, otherwise, you won’t. It shouldn’t take a life-threatening medical diagnosis or life experience for you to turn your life around. For some people, that is what it takes. Change your mindset and you can change yourself. This is how yo-yo dieting keeps happening. We are looking for something outside of ourselves to quickly fix the problems within us. We go on a diet, lose the weight, then go back to being who we truly are… and we gain weight again. But what if who you truly were, was someone who just naturally ate well and moved often? You wouldn’t be on a ‘diet’, you’d…. just be you. When you go out with friends and you pass on the cocktails and someone asks, “Oh, are you not drinking because you are driving?”, you’d simply say, “No, I just don’t drink.” When you are getting up at 6am to workout and your friend, partner, or co-worker asks you, “Why do you work out every morning? Are you on some kind of weight loss journey?”, you can simply say, “No. I am just a person that enjoys going to the gym.” When your actions become apart of who you are, there are no explanations needed. You do it because it is you and it is what a person like you does.
II. Physiology: This is something many people fail to consider when thinking about dieting. Let’s take a look at this equation:
Calories In - Calories Out= A Negative Number (for weight loss)
2000 - 2500 = -500 (Calorie Deficit)
Here’s where the problem arises. As you begin to lose weight, the amount of calories you burn declines as well! It no longer takes your body so much energy to keep you alive, move you around, or digest your food. So as you begin to lose weight, you continue to eat 2,000 calories because this was your deficit, but now instead of burning 2,500 calories, maybe you are burning 2,300. Your 500-calorie deficit has become a 300-calorie deficit. Still under so that is great! But you’ll begin see a slowdown in weight loss which many people call the “plateau”. Eventually, you will get to a place where you are no longer in a deficit at all. You are still eating 2,000 calories a day but now you are also burning 2,000. Your net is now 0 and you are maintaining your weight. You are left with the same 2 options. Workout more or eat less. Most people would drop their calories again. 2,000 a day becomes 1,700 -1,800 a day. Your new equation looks like this. 1700 – 2000 = -300. We are back in a deficit. That’s great and all, but then the same thing will happen. You will lose weight, your calories out will decrease so to continue to lose weight, you’ll need to drop your calories again. And really… how low can we really go? 1,200 calories a day is recommended for a child. It wouldn’t be healthy to drop that low and therefore eventually, this formula will stop working. It’s just not practical long term, which brings me to my next point.
There is a difference between short term weight loss and permanent, long term weight loss. The problem arises when people attempt to use a short-term weight loss program for a permanent weight loss goal.
Maybe you are competing for a body building competition. Maybe you are losing weight so you can say yes to the dress. Maybe you are competing for a beauty pageant. All of these have one thing in common… they require losing weight for one specific life event. And once that event is over, they will come off the diet, regain the weight, and they will be OKAY with that because they understood from the beginning that the diet they were going on was unrealistic long term, but realistic for their short-term goal. So, if you just want to temporarily lose some weight quickly, then go ahead with whatever diet someone sold you on. But if you want it gone and gone for good, you’ll need a different approach, a long-term approach.
Tips for Dieting
First, Understand your body type and what is realistic for you. There are 3 somatypes (with occasional hybrids). These include ectomorphs, endomorphs, and mesomorphs. Ectomorphs are the super lean body types. These people usually have a hard time gaining weight of any kind and have high metabolisms. Endomorphs are the opposite. These are our thick bodies with slower metabolisms and their bodies tend to hold on to more body fat. They have trouble with weight loss. Mesomorphs are the “golden child” athletic bodies. They can easily put on and lose weight. Overtime this can change and again, you can also be a combination of a couple. Why this is important to know is because you must know where you are to know where you are going. Do you think someone having a hard time gaining weight should be following the same diet and exercise plan as someone struggling to lose it? I don’t think so. Yes, genetics make us, but they don’t define us. It simply means the path you take on weight loss will have to look different than your neighbor and that’s okay. Now that you know your body type, it’s time to know what is realistic for you. Let’s say you and a friend are both on a weight loss journey. You both weight 212 pounds. Same height. Different genetics. You are an endo, your friend is a meso. It could very well be possible that your friend could make it all the way down to 145 lbs following a very realistic diet and exercise plan. It’s possible that 145 isn’t realistic for you, without extreme dieting and exercising. Her 145 could be your 165… and that is OKAY. 15-20% body fat isn’t realistic for everyone, but 20-25% could be. You must understand and accept what is realistic for you and what is not. And again, I am just speaking on when it comes to a realistic long-term plan that doesn’t involve you trying extreme methods to get to 145 like your friend. Follow me? Going from 212-165 is still a HUGE accomplishment and most likely looks damn good. This doesn’t mean you give up at 198 and say “welp, getting lower must not be realistic for me. KT said so” I am not giving you an excuse to give up. I am giving you a new mindset.
Second, Understand the importance of slow and steady.
Cold turkey doesn’t work for everyone. Going from eating sugar, fast food, soda, etc every single day to suddenly cutting it all out could leave you feeling depleted and irritated. You may even experience withdrawal symptoms that could then cause you to binge later. Going from no exercise to exercising 5 days a week can leave you feeling sore and stressed. You did too much at once. Slow and steady truly does win the race. Be the tortoise not the hare. Slowly wing yourself off the things you no longer want to consume as much and slowly integrate the things you want to consume more of. You are more likely to stick with it as opposed to quitting because it got overwhelming. No more “f that, I’ll just stay fat” because it won’t feel hard or unnatural. What’s the point of jack rabbiting for 1 week, quitting for 3 months until you get re-inspired by something, jack rabbiting again for 1 week and quitting for another 6 months. Had you did it slowly, 12 months later, you’d be looking at your size 16s in the giveaway pile instead of looking for new inspiration... again.
Third, Find a diet you can sustain. That is what it comes down to. If you know sweets are your weakness, commit to not buying them when you grocery shop. Tell yourself I will only buy a sweet if I am having a sit down dinner at a restaurant with a friend. Tell yourself I will only have sweets if I make them from scratch myself. Because let's be real. How often are you gonna bake a cake from scratch? If you can’t see yourself giving up bacon, then don’t. Just be mindful on how often you consume it. If you enjoy animal meats, don’t go vegetarian. Are you picking up what I am putting down? The best diet for YOU is going to be one you are happy with, but that also supports your health goals. ADD more things into your diet. If you drink more water you’d naturally have less room for soda. If you ate more fruits you’d naturally have less room for sweets (unless you are like me in which I grow a second stomach the moment I see a dessert. Guilty.) Commit to eating your “required” items first. Tell yourself “okay… after I eat my fruit, veggies, protein, and fiber for the day, THEN I will have my cookie” You may find after eating your requirements, you no longer even desire the cookie. I am all about free will and enjoyments of life, but your will to be healthier needs to make sense. You can’t, in the same breath, say “I want to live a long healthy life for my children so I am going to improve my heart health, but life is short so I want to continue to enjoy smoking my pack of cigarettes a day”. That doesn’t make sense. However, if you change the latter part to “but life is short and I don’t want to make it shorter so I will reduce my smoking to 4 cigarettes a day, and eventually I will cut it out altogether” I’d be on board with that. You are being graceful with yourself. You are being realistic. And you are committing to a healthier you.
Bringing It All Together
There I absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight. However, you can save a lot of money, time, and energy by doing it the proper way.
Understand your body type.
Learn what is realistic for you.
Start slow.
Eat more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, fiber, and protein.
Drink more water.
Consume less sugar, packaged foods, fast-food/take-out.
Sleep more.
Move more.
Stress less.
This will get you to the finish line.
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